We all get angry. It doesn’t matter whether you’re 55 or 85, living alone or surrounded by family. Someone can say the wrong thing, push the wrong button, or simply do something differently than you would. But here’s an important reminder: You can be right about something and still be wrong in how you respond.

Yelling, criticizing, or losing your temper, or being rude, will NOT solve the problem. Instead, it can hurt relationships and leave everyone feeling worse.

The good news? There are ways to learn to respond differently!

THREE SIMPLE WAYS TO KEEP YOUR COOL:

1. Accept That Others Are Different.

Not everyone thinks, acts, or does things your way. Try accepting people as they are rather than expecting them to change. Different doesn’t mean wrong!

2. Stay in the “I”!

One of the best ways to prevent an argument is to talk about YOUR feelings rather than blame someone else.

Try saying:

• “I feel frustrated when I don’t feel heard.”
• “I would appreciate being included.”
• “I feel hurt, and I’d like to talk about it.”

Remember:  “I” statements communicate. “YOU” statements accuse. “

3. Practice Your Pause Phrase.

When you feel frustration building, have a saying ready:

• “I am sorry you feel that way.”
• Take a breath. PAUSE!
• Move a foot, change a thought.
• I don’t have to win this discussion.”
• “I shall not yell today!” ….A little humor helps, too!

The next time someone irritates you, STOP. Take a breath. Use an “I” statement. Give yourself a moment before responding.  You cannot always control what someone else says or does, but you CAN control how you respond.

At this stage of our lives, protecting BOTH our relationships and our peace of mind ARE  more important than having the last word. Choose peace over proving a point. It’s a gift you give yourself and those around you!