Stop “Shoulding” Yourself—and Start Enjoying the Road Ahead. Have you ever noticed that your windshield is huge and your rearview mirror is pretty small? There’s a reason.

The rearview mirror helps us see where we’ve been. The windshield helps us see where we can go!.

Yet many of us spend far too much time looking backward—and then make things worse by telling ourselves what we “should” have done.

I should have exercised more.
I should have called more often.
I should have made a different decision.
I should be doing more.
I should feel differently.

Welcome to the Tyranny of the Should!

“Shoulding yourself” is the habit of comparing who you are today with some imaginary ideal version of yourself. And that ideal person apparently exercises every day, never forgets a birthday, eats perfectly, remembers everyone’s name and never loses their glasses!

Enough already! Instead of asking, “What should I be doing?” try asking:

“What am I able to do—and what would make me happy?”

That simple shift can open the door to self-compassion.

Self-compassion means treating yourself as you would treat a good friend: with kindness instead of criticism, connection instead of isolation, and mindfulness instead of judgment.

Look in the rearview mirror quickly, then look forward.We cannot change the road behind. It is done and over. We can choose how we travel the road ahead.

SCCL TAKEAWAY

The next time you hear yourself say “I should…”, stop and ask:

Am I willing to take the lesson from yesterday? Give myself some grace today. And then enjoy the ride.

Your rearview mirror is small for a reason.
Your windshield—and your possibilities—are much bigger.