One of the most powerful tools for staying steady through the holiday season is a simple one: a list of your “NOPES.” These are the tasks, events, and expectations you are choosing not to take on. Those who struggle with holiday overwhelm often find that their calm doesn’t come from adding more—it comes from deciding what to release.

Start by noticing what drains you. Think back to past Decembers: What left you exhausted? What raised your stress? Long shopping trips? Hosting large gatherings? Endless cooking? Your first few “NOPES” will usually come from those patterns. If it depleted you once, it will likely deplete you again.

Then look at your current energy, health, and emotional bandwidth. A “NOPE” list isn’t negative—it’s protective. It creates room for the things you want to enjoy. Maybe this year you say “nope” to late-night events, homemade gifts, or managing everyone else’s logistics. Your energy is precious; treat it that way.

Be specific. Instead of writing “don’t overdo it,” try “no baking all day,” “no attending two events in one day,” or “no last-minute store runs.” The clearer you make it, the easier it is to follow.

Share your boundaries kindly with family or friends. You’re not asking permission; you’re simply letting people know your plan. Most will appreciate the honesty and follow your lead.

Finally, post your “NOPE” list where you can see it—on the fridge, by your calendar, or in your phone. Let it guide your choices when the season gets noisy. A well-built “NOPE” list doesn’t shrink your holidays. It protects them. By clearing away what doesn’t serve you, you make room for peace, connection, and the parts of the season that genuinely warm your heart.